What I've learned during one year at the "University of Life"
When we were growing up, my dad used to tell us that he was a graduate at the University of Life, aka the school of hard knocks. Like many of his generation, his purpose in life was to make sure that all his kids had an easier path, starting life with a University degree. My dad lived his purpose, and pride of place at home went to the graduation photos of the 5 kids. Job done…, or so he thought.
A few years ago, I gave up the security of my corporate career and enrolled at his Alma Mater.
So after a Degree, a MBA, and 20 plus years in Blue Chip companies, what possessed me? And more importantly, what have I learned from my one year as a start-up at Nagle Coaching Ltd ?
1. You have to be clear what you want – YOUR GOAL
Many of my peer group talk about “financial security”. They seem to believe that when a certain number is achieved, they will be finally be free to “do what they want”. But I´d argue that when they do make the change, it is not financial security which will keep them awake at night, it is “identity security”.
“Daddy, what do you do?” and “Why do you do it?” Its only when you strip away the busy framework that a job gives you, that you understand the power of those questions.
There are the lucky few - those who seamlessly transition to their new thing. And then there are the majority of us who find it more difficult. Maybe its because we were fully focused on the day job and didn’t pause to think what next, or, maybe we preferred not to reflect on what next.
There is a fundamental choice to be made in your approach to work: you are either a goal setter or a goal achiever. It took me time to make that choice and to set my own goal, and more time to get comfortable with the trade-offs involved. Getting clarity on your goals is a must, no one else can do it for you. In my case, I knew that I wanted to build roots as a family and to bring my kids up in Dublin, I wanted work that played to my strengths and interests, and I was comfortable that the money would come.
2. You have to let go of the past & COMMIT to your NEW IDENTITY
I spent my first year back in Dublin “exploring opportunities” and then wondering why the phone wasn’t ringing. I was hedging my bets, concerned that if I was too explicit about being based in Dublin, my lack of mobility would be a blocker in the corporate world. And hence, I can still remember the angst in changing my Linked In profile from ´Internationally experienced, senior business executive…´ to ´Executive Coach´. Of course, no one else batted an eyelid. In fact, it was ONLY when people knew what I was working as, and why, that the calls started to come.
3. Role models are nice to have, but you have to FIND your OWN WAY.
Just over a year ago, I read a post by a former colleague of mine who generously shared her experience after 5 years as a coach. It was honestly written, with no sugar-coating, and inspired me to take the leap.
But starting up on your own as a coach means ONE thing – the ability to get your own clients, let me repeat, the ability to get your own clients - and everyone will draw on their unique skills to do that. In fact, each mentor of mine had a different route to success. There are general common sense principles but there is NO manual. And they don’t teach you that at Coaching school !
4. You have to stick at it and ENJOY the JOURNEY
Earl Nightingale defined success as “the progressive realisation of a predetermined worthwhile, personal goal” because he understood that success is a thing of the present moment not at some single point in the future.
For me that means supporting first time leaders to make the big step-up successfully, becoming a trusted partner for them and their teams. But there are growing pains.
I am creating something and I need to build new muscles like patience, gratitude, and service to others. My old well-developed muscles of problem-solving and direction/ delegation to a team are being replaced.
I am competing with established coaching practices and seeking to emulate them by developing my craft as a coach, investing in myself and getting comfortable marketing myself, confident in the fact that I am providing real solutions to real issues.
The University of life is the easiest University to get into, but the toughest one to graduate from. But the satisfaction of building something yourself is unbeatable.
And MY Hollywood ending?
A fellow Dublin coach told me as I was starting out: in the first year as a coach, people will ask, “is that a real job?”, in the second year, ¨are you still doing that?” and, then in the third year, “you´re still doing that? You must be good, we should talk”
Fortunately, some people fall outside the stereotype and didn’t wait 3 years to engage me. These tend to be people who “aren’t just like you” but “who like you” and these have been my early adopters. There is a psychographic as well as demographic fit, and that is why you need to get yourself and your message out there.
Year 1 has been good and I am committed to my new identity. I have a good client list with great retention. Thanks to all those clients who believed in “James as coach”
As with any new endeavour, lots done, lots to do. God knows what my dad would think!
Whether you are thriving at corporate, or starting on your transition, I´d love to hear your thoughts.